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You’ve said it yourself a million times: People Are Stupid. Well now there’s a medication that helps stupid people become, well, significantly less stupid.

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From Pharmfaux Labs comes Stupido™ (Stupedous Farfetchedneous) is the newly FDA approved once a day pill that strengthens the simple cognitive brain functioning skills of everyday people, you know, for those of us who aren’t exactly the sharpest knives in the drawer. Their tag lines says, “While It Won’t Improve Your IQ, You Might Remember Where Your Car Keys Are.”

In some university somewhere, a study of 500 people was conducted that asked, simple random questions like, what did you eat for breakfast, who cuts your hair, where are your car keys right now, and how did you get here. A majority of the respondents had difficulty with the questions as a glazed look grew upon their already stymied faces. They were then given 10 milligrams of Stupido for one week (also available in the shape of your favorite Family Guy characters) and the results were astounding according to Dr. Vinnie Boombatz of Mt. Cyanide Medical center.

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“59 percent of the people in the study actually showed up without the use of gps navigation, where only 7 percent showed before taking the medication”, claimed the exuberant physician. “These are some exceptionally stupid folks in this study, I mean I’m talking on the cusp of being blithering morons, and I am more than pleased with the marked improvement – all except for the guy who thinks he’s Abe Lincoln’s hat maker.”

Other areas of improvement from some in the study were remembering their own birthdays, recognizing the ringtone on their phones, and placing the round peg in the round hole.

John Bungholdst, a Darwin award nominee from Faber, Indiana says that people at work notice the difference in him. “I’ve been taking the Stewie shaped pill for a month now, and people are saying I’m a different person. And while that’s nice and all, my driver’s license still says I’m the same guy, so I guess the meds are gonna need a little more time to kick in.”

For more information on this ground breaking drug, go to stupido@aprilfoolsday/homeofbrightideas.com.